Wait a minute, man
Ayy, check this out, man (let him tell it)
It was this blind man right (man, check it, ayy), it was this blind man right (this fool right here)
He was feelin’ his way down the street with his stick right, ayy (yeah)
He walked past this fish market, you know what I’m sayin’? (Fish market?)
He stopped he took a deep breath, he said
Whoa, good morning ladies, hahaha
You like that shit, man? (That was pretty good, that was pretty good)
Ayy man, I got a gang of that shit, man
I’ll tell you what
My man on the guitar
Ayy, fool on the drums
Ayy, everybody just crowd around the mic
I’ll tell you all these motherfuckin’ jokes I got (clap ya hands, man)
But first I’ma start off like that, ayy, help me sing it, homeboy
Come on

Said Colt 45 and two Zig-Zags, baby, that’s all we need
We can go to the park, after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed
As the marijuana burn, we can take our turn
Singin’ them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin’ high as hell flyin’ through Palmdale
Skatin’ on Dayton rims
So roll, roll, the ’83 Cadillac Coupe Deville
If my tapes and my CDs just don’t sell, I bet my Caddy will

Well, it was just sundown in small white town
They call it East Side Palmdale (well)
When the Afroman walked through the white land
Houses went up for sale (hell)
Well, I was standing on the corner sellin’ rap CDs
When I met a little girl named Jan
I let her ride in my Caddy
‘Cause I didn’t know her daddy was the leader of the Ku Klux Klan (hahaha)
We fucked on the bed
Fucked on the floor
Fucked so long I grew a fuckin’ afro
Then I fucked to the left (left)
Fucked to the right (right)
She sucked my dick ’til the shit turned white
I thought to myself, “Sheeba-sheeba”
Got my ass lookin’ like a zebra
I put on my clothes and I was on my way
Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet
So I ran, I jumped out the back window
But her daddy, he was waitin’ with a two-by-four
Oh, he beat me to the left
He beat me to the right
The motherfucker whooped my ass all night
But I ain’t mad at her prejudiced dad
That’s the best damn pussy I ever had
Got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine (woo)
I’m gonna fuck that bitch just one more time

Colt 45 and two Zig-Zags, baby, that’s all we need (come on)
We can go to the park, after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed (uh)
And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn
Singin’ them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin’ high as hell flyin’ through Palmdale
Skatin’ on Dayton rims (come on)
So roll, roll, the ’83 Cadillac Coupe Deville
If my tapes and my CDs just don’t sell, I bet my Caddy will (uh)

I met this lady in Hollywood

She had green hair, but damn she looked good
I took her to my house ’cause she was fine
But she whooped out a dick that was bigger than mine
I met this lady from Japan
Never made love with an African
I fucked her once, I fucked her twice
I ate that pussy like shrimp-fried rice
Don’t be amazed at the stories I tell ya (tell ya)
I met a woman in the heart of Australia
Had a big butt and big titties too
So I hopped in her ass like a Kangaroo
See I met this woman from Hawaii
Stuck it in her ass and she said “aii”
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch
Then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch
Met Colonel Sanders wife in the state of Kentucky
She said I’d fry some chicken if you’d just fuck me
I came in her mouth, it was a crisis
I gave her my secret blend of herbs’ n’ spices

Colt 45 and two Zig-Zags, baby, that’s all we need (come on)
We can go to the park, after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed (uh)
And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn
Singin’ them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
(Ayy, wait a minute, man, check this out, man, ayy)
And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee
Her titties were filled with Hennessy
That country music really drove me crazy
But I rode that ass and said, “Yes, Miss Daisy”
Met this lady in Oklahoma
Put that pussy in a coma
Met this lady in Michigan
I can’t wait ’til I fuck that bitch again
Met a real black girl down in South Carolina
Fucked her until she turned to a white albino
Fucked this hooker in Iowa
I fucked her on credit, so I owe her
Fucked this girl down in Georgia
Came in her mouth, man I thought I told ya
Met this beautiful sexy ho
She just ran across the border of Mexico
Fine young thing, said her name’s Maria
I wrapped her up just like a hot tortilla
I wanna get married but I can’t afford it
I know I’ma cry when she get deported